By iamsandykay on June 21, 2023

On Softness

Recently we binged and finished Ted Lasso. I loved it. Separately, several times, My Husband and I turned to each other and said, “well, clearly the goal of season 3 was to make us cry.” The writers did a great job wrapping up a story.

Was everything perfect? No.

Were some storylines wedged in for effect? Of course.

Were some of the plots a ~~lot~~ bit clunky? Definitely.

Did I really enjoy the whole show? Yes I did.

After finishing the show, I listened to a couple podcasts and interviews people had done after the show (I had been avoiding spoilers). Probably my first mistake.

Disappointingly, what I found was more people who have declared themselves experts on the given subject. Were they involved in the show? No. Do they know what the creators/writers/actors were thinking or intending? No. Did they declare their opinion as fact anyone who didn’t agree with them was wrong? I’m sure you can guess.

Why have we (as a society/collective we) slipped so far into
“I am right. I am the ONLY correct one. I am the knowiest-know-it-all who every was.” ????

What has happened to learning?

What has happened to asking questions?

What has happened to having differing opinions on shows and movies and colors and fabrics and cars and houses and pets and lifestyles?

What happened to softness?

I heard this song just the other day on the radio. Remember it?

Released May 12, 2003, the lyrics and intent remain true 20 years later. We’ve all seen so much hurt and pain and destruction over the years that we’ve become hardened. We’re desensitized to so many thing.

How often do you think, “Well, this sucks, but what can I do about it – it’s just how the world is.” It doesn’t have to be.

Super cheesy, but Gandhi’s paraphrased statement is still relevant to this conversation:

Be the change you wish to see in the world.

Great sentiment. His actual words are a bit longer and perhaps a bit more helpful, here:

We but mirror the world. All the tendencies present in the outer world are to be found in the world of our body. If we could change ourselves, the tendencies in the world would also change. As a man changes his own nature, so does the attitude of the world change towards him. This is the divine mystery supreme. A wonderful thing it is and the source of our happiness. We need not wait to see what others do.

This one involves a bit more inside [ourselves] work: If we want to see a different reality, we need to work on our filtering, and the world will change.

I invite all of us to be more soft. Relax some of your hardness. Grind down some of those sharp edges. Let’s try this approach to improving the world – if it doesn’t work, we can go back to the hardness, the rigidness, the I-know-more-than-you approach we’ve been using lately.

Returning to Ted Lasso and one of the podcasts I was listening to, The Right One said they didn’t understand why Nate left West Ham.

Well, Oh Rightiness – Nate was still searching for a father figure. He had built Ted up on the Father Figure pedestal and then was angry when he was let down (because Ted is still a human). So, to hurt Ted (who hurt him), he turned to Rupert who was being the supportive “father” – who was actually using him/Nate to get back at Ted/Rebecca/AFC Richmond. Then when Nate grew up a bit and really saw who Rupert was, he realized that his pseudo-father had [again] let him down. This is then why the scene with his actual Dad is so important and full circle to Nate’s character.

I hope you have a wonderful day!

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