By iamsandykay on August 31, 2018 ( 7 Comments )

Desperately Seeking Motivation

Not long ago, I started to notice that I was SERIOUSLY lacking motivation.

Motivation to work out, write, bake, talk, ANY of my hobbies, anything.

I just didn’t want to.

Oh, I had ideas. TONS of ideas.

My muse was just fine.

giphy

But any time that I had the time, I just didn’t care to do anything.

Now, I said a few weeks ago I noticed this. But, when I started thinking about it, I realized I had felt this way for probably a month. I had been whiny, bitchy, cranky, unmotivated, and just irritable. Between the heat, the African dust cloud, the inevitable summer chest cold, and MyHusband being out of town for 15 out of 30 days, I was just sick of it all.

I finally reached that point where I was just sick and tired of being sick and tired.

I wanted something to change.

Running away and joining the circus was out of the question.

I had spent most of June eating like crap and just about as long without a decent workout. So, I hated how I looked and how I felt.

OMG how I wanted someone to just hand me a meal plan, a personal trainer, a few million dollars and say, “Here, we fixed this. You just sit here and relax.”

But, no. It never happens that way does it?

You know what one of THE most annoying parts of reality is? When you know what you need to/should do and you really don’t want to.

Go run 5 miles – you’ll feel much better.

Nah, I’m good.

Here, eat this salad instead of those super delicious waffle fries.

Pass.

Put down your phone and accomplish something.

Hmm? Did you say something?

42r2kdfsx9411 All the damn day.

Gradually, things started to get better.

Personally, change starts with me when I recognize there is a problem.

knowing-is-half-the-battle

I considered working with a meditation app to center myself and calm my mind and I seriously looked into a couple of those online psychiatry apps to talk with someone.

But, for real, 1. I do NOT need to start another project and 2. I do NOT need another app on my phone.

Over the next few weeks, I’m going to delve into the ways I pulled myself out. Spoiler Alert: It wasn’t easy and it was NOT quick. Hell, I’m still working on it.