By iamsandykay on October 15, 2021

Vulnerability is Terrifying for Everyone

A miss-perception leads to a bad attitude.
A bad attitude leads to shitty behavior.
Shitty behavior leads hurting others’ feelings.
Hurt feelings leads to a ruined day.

It has long been recognized that anger is a secondary action. When someone lashes out, it is often due to hurt feelings, emotional pain, physical exhaustion, and so on. When you are on the receiving end of that lash, it is nearly impossible to 1. not internalize it and 2. not react with your own anger.

Taking the high road is harder, longer, and more challenging,
but sometimes it needs to be done.

Be mindful of your own needs and watch yourself on this higher road travel. It is exhausting being the bigger person. It is so tiring accommodating others’ pissy moods and shitty behavior. But the only way to diffuse the situation is to not react and not retaliate.

It is ridiculous and unfair.

And yet, we continue to do it.* The cycle is maintained. On and on.

It hurts.
It is exhausting.

How do we break the cycle?

Be open to the small gestures. A smile instead of nonchalance after a timid joke. A brush of the back of then hand, rather than fully holding your hand. A text even during anger – something rather than a non-reply.

Vulnerability is terrifying for everyone.

No matter their size or outward character. You are hurting and angry and sad. They are probably, too.

Be open to forgiveness for yourself or for those seeking it.

It is terrifying to open yourself to rejection and further hurt.

What if they don’t forgive? What if they don’t want to be forgiven? What if they don’t care at all? What if this is over? Like, over over. #SorryMsJackson

Who will be the first to open up?

How will you respond?

*This does NOT apply to abusive relationship – physical, mental, or emotional.
Accepting and accommodating is not the appropriate technique in those situations.
If you need help in this type of situation visit TheHotline or text “START” to 88788.

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